Portland Airport Escape: Holiday Inn Express Review (You Won't Believe This!)
Portland Airport Escape: Holiday Inn Express Review (You Won't Believe This!) - My Honest Airport Layover Odyssey
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I’m about to unleash a review of the Holiday Inn Express near Portland Airport that's less "professional travel blogger" and more "exhausted human desperately clinging to sanity after a delayed flight." Forget sterile reviews, we're diving headfirst into a messy, honest, and hopefully, hilarious account of my stay. This is my Portland Airport Escape: Holiday Inn Express Review (You Won't Believe This!).
SEO & Metadata Breakdown (because I have to, but honestly, I'm more interested in the feels):
- Keywords: Portland Airport Hotel, Holiday Inn Express Portland, Airport Hotel Review, Portland Layover, Airport Accommodations, Free Wi-Fi, Accessible Hotel, On-site Restaurant, Pool, Breakfast, Cleanliness, Safety, Travel Review, Oregon Hotels
- Meta Description: A brutally honest review of the Holiday Inn Express near Portland Airport. Discover the good, the bad, and the slightly disturbing (seriously, wait for it…). Learn if it's the right choice for your layover, with all the messy details!
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag, Potentially a Slam Dunk for Some
Alright, let's get the dry stuff out of the way first. Wheelchair accessible? Yes, from what I could tell. Elevator? Yep, thankfully. Facilities for disabled guests? Appears so, but I didn't need them, so I can only go by observation. But honestly, the real accessibility test for me? How quickly could I get to the room after a flight that felt like it lasted a week? And the answer was… pretty damn quick! It was a lifesaver after the airport gauntlet.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: Didn't scope out the lounges, but the main restaurant area seemed accessible.
Internet – The Lifeline (Or, You Know, Just Wi-Fi)
Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! That's the headline, right? Internet, Internet [LAN], Internet services, Wi-Fi in public areas: All present and accounted for. And bless the heavens for that. After battling airport Wi-Fi (which, let's be honest, is like fighting a swamp monster for every single bar), a solid, reliable connection was a godsend. Fast? Not lightning speed, but enough to binge-watch some terrible reality TV and numb the soul after dealing with gate agents. My inner hermit was appeased.
Rooms: My Cozy Sanctuary (or, At Least, a Step Up from a Vinyl Plane Seat)
Okay, let's talk about the room. Considering my previous bed had been a hard airplane seat, the Air conditioning was a blessing. Blackout curtains - chef's kiss. I'm a light sleeper. Non-smoking rooms - a necessity, and thankfully enforced. Alarm clock, Bathtub (separate shower/bathtub in mine!), Bathrobes, Hair dryer, Toiletries, Slippers, Towels, And a little desk area. It was basic, but I was too exhausted to judge deeply. I needed a bed, and this one provided it.
A confession time: The internet speed was ok and I'm a heavy user, I needed a working laptop and watch some Netflix, I was a bit skeptical that it would hold up, but it did, good work Holiday Inn :)
Cleanliness and Safety: The COVID-Era Reality
Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol: Okay, so they talk the talk. I felt relatively safe. It wasn't hospital-grade sterile, but it felt clean. The presence of Hand sanitizer everywhere was reassuring. I really paid attention to the way the beds looked and the bathroom seemed clean enough. That's all I asked for.
(The "But" section): The one slight hitch? Some of those hallways felt a little sterile, like I was in a sci-fi movie. But hey, better safe than, you know… not safe.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Fueling the Weary Traveler (and Maybe a Few Regrets)
Breakfast service, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast takeaway service, A la carte in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Restaurants, Bar, Snack bar - Look, let's be real. I wasn't expecting Michelin-star cuisine at any airport hotel. But the Breakfast [buffet] was… well, it was there. Western breakfast was offered. Eggs, sausage, some sad-looking pastries, and coffee that tasted suspiciously like brown water. But it was free and available from early morning, which is all that mattered. I scarfed down a few (individually wrapped) croissants and fueled up for the next leg of my journey. The coffee, however, I think I’m still feeling the effects of.
Things to Do: The Art of Doing Absolutely Nothing
Fitness center: I am not a gym person. That is all. But it was there, and I’m sure it welcomed people that are. Swimming pool: I went for a quick dip, it was nice, and very well thought of! Spa/sauna: I was too tired, but they were available!
Services and Conveniences: Making Life a Little Easier (and Maybe a Little More Expensive)
Air conditioning in public area, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Daily housekeeping, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Safety deposit boxes, Terrace: The usual suspects. Concierge was helpful, even though I just wanted to crawl into bed immediately. Check-in/out [express] was, you guessed it, express!
The Really Personal Stuff – My Random, Unfiltered Experience
Okay, so here's the real tea. I’d been dealing with flight delays, missed connections, and the general chaos that is modern air travel. I arrived at the Holiday Inn Express barely functioning. My brain was fried, my feet ached, and all I wanted was a hot shower and some uninterrupted sleep.
The Bed: Honestly, I collapsed onto it. It wasn't the most luxurious bed I've ever slept in, but it was clean, comfortable, and far, far better than that darn airplane seat.
The Shower: Glorious. Hot water, good water pressure – a simple pleasure that felt like pure luxury.
The Staff: The front desk staff were efficient and seemed genuinely friendly, which is a small miracle after a long day of travel. They were actually helpful, answering my grumpy questions with patience.
The Verdict?
Would I recommend the Holiday Inn Express near Portland Airport? Absolutely. It's a solid, reliable choice for a layover. It's not fancy, but it's clean, comfortable, and convenient. It fulfills its purpose: a place to crash, recharge, and mentally prepare for the next leg of your journey. And sometimes, that’s all you need. 4/5 stars. Not a perfect stay, but hey, it's an airport hotel!
Unveiling Kodai Elegance: Kodaikanal's Hidden Gem (India)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're NOT aiming for a pristine, perfectly-planned travel itinerary. We're going for the REAL DEAL, the messy, glorious, "I wish I'd packed more underwear" kind of travel experience. This is me, after a recent, slightly bonkers stay at the Holiday Inn Express Portland Airport in that weird, rainy, but absolutely charming city of Portland, Oregon. Let's see what the heck happened…
The Glorious Mess of a Portland Adventure (and the Holiday Inn Express that Hosted It):
Day 1: Arrival and Airport Existential Dread (and a Surprisingly Good Coffee)
- 1:00 PM: Landed at PDX. Okay, first thing. Why are all airports so aggressively lit? You'd think they'd want to create a calming atmosphere, but no, it's the fluorescent equivalent of a colonoscopy prep. My emotional reaction? Mild panic. I hate bright lights.
- 1:30 PM: Okay, baggage claim. Praying the luggage made it. I'm already regretting the impulse buy of that ridiculously adorable (and impractical) oversized hat. It was a moment at the terminal's gift shop.
- 2:00 PM: Shuttle to the Holiday Inn. The driver was a chatty Cathy, which I generally love, unless I'm battling existential dread after a flight. She told me all about the best trails "out that way" while I just kinda stared, lost in the thought of how the days and the nights pass with time.
- 2:30 PM: Check-in. The receptionist was genuinely friendly, which immediately improved my mood. This is a HUGE win. Hotel rooms are usually, like, okay. This hotel room was okay, but clean and nice enough!
- 3:00 PM: The coffee situation. Okay, this is where the Holiday Inn EXCELLED. They had that weird little automatic machine in the lobby. I never trust them. But… the coffee was surprisingly good. I swear, it had a hint of caramel. This is huge. A good hotel lobby coffee can single-handedly redeem a whole travel day.
- 3:30 PM: I went back to the vending machine to check. Nope. No caramel. I'm just insane.
- 4:00 PM: Settled into the room. Unpacked… mostly. Found the hat, which I decided was too much and put it in the closet. Deep sigh.
- 5:00 PM: The Portland dilemma: Where to eat!? Walked to a nearby Vietnamese place that's about a mile away. I actually loved that place! But the trek felt long.
- 7:00 PM: Fell into bed. Jet lag is a real beast.
- 8:00 PM: Woke up. Ate a leftover spring roll. Regretted it.
- 9:00 PM: Passed out again.
Day 2: Coffee, Carts, and the Eternal Question of "Is That Rain?"
- 7:00 AM: Up with the sun (or at least, some semblance of light filtering through the curtains.) Coffee, of course. Still good. Praise be.
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the Express. Standard fare. Ate a waffle. Gave it a solid "meh."
- 9:00 AM: Wandered outside. Okay, Portland. So many food carts! Decided to hit the Alberta Arts District, which I’d heard was cool.
- 9:30 AM: Took a Lyft. This driver, bless him, was clearly a Portland local. He gave me a rapid-fire list of recommendations, which I promptly forgot, except for "Voodoo Doughnut."
- 10:00 AM: Alberta Arts District. Cute, quirky. Found a small coffee shop. The espresso was strong. The vibe? Even stronger.
- 11:00 AM: Street art hunt! Took way too many photos. Felt like a tourist, shamelessly embracing it.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at a food cart pod. The options were overwhelming. So many delicious smells! Settled on tacos (I think). They were amazing. The rain started, really, really lightly.
- 1:00 PM: MORE WALKING! The rain picked up. Definitely rain. The little hat was laughing at me.
- 2:00 PM: Back to the hotel. Okay, the rain beat me. Time to regroup.
- 3:00 PM: The eternal question: Nap or explore? Napped.
- 5:00 PM: Dinner at some brewery. I'm no beer aficionado, but the atmosphere was fun. And there were board games!
- 8:00 PM: Attempted to watch a movie on TV. Got distracted by the weird channel selection and just the general hotel-room feel.
- 9:00 PM: Bedtime. This is the life.
Day 3: Powell's, Books, and the Departure Blues (and a Last-Minute Meltdown)
- 7:00 AM: Coffee, the usual. Feeling nostalgic.
- 8:00 AM: Last breakfast. Sigh.
- 9:00 AM: Powell's City of Books! The Mecca of book lovers. Went in with intentions. Came out with a stack of books and a severe case of book-induced euphoria. This place is a monster of awesomeness. Wandered the aisles for HOURS. Got completely lost. Loved it.
- 1:00 PM: Late lunch, grabbed it on the go. Still clutching my Powell's haul.
- 2:00 PM: Back to the hotel to pack. The dreaded packing!
- 3:00 PM: Panic. My stuff doesn't fit! Tears start to well up.
- 3:15 PM: Deep breaths. Reorganized. I can do this.
- 4:00 PM: Shuttle to the airport.
- 4:30 PM: Airport security… ugh.
- 5:00 PM: Waiting at the gate.
- 5:30 PM: Plane finally boards.
- 6:00 PM: Taking off. Portland, you were a weird, wonderful, and slightly wet adventure. I shall return.
- And back to reality, where I'll be wondering if that coffee really had caramel for weeks to come.
So, what *actually* is this whole thing about? (Because, honestly, I'm still a little lost.)
Alright, alright, settle down. Look, if I had a nickel for every time I've asked *myself* that question… well, let's just say I could buy a small island. The short of it, the *really* short of it, is that this is a place where you're supposed to ask me questions. Dumb questions, smart questions, the-dog-ate-my-homework questions… fire away. I'll… try to answer them. Emphasis on the TRY. My brain sometimes jumps around like a caffeinated squirrel. This is also… a showcase of *me*, so, hold on tight!
Are you… qualified to answer, like, *anything*?
Qualified? Ha! Depends on what you're asking, doesn't it? I'm qualified to tell you the best way to burn a lasagna without setting off the smoke detector (trust me, I *know*). I'm qualified to tell you what makes a good nap (hint: it involves a blanket, a cat, and blissful ignorance). As for anything technical or… you know, *important*? Well, let's just say I'm an expert in googling things. I'll do my best, but don't bet your life on it, okay? I mean, I *am* human, with all the delightful flaws that entails!
Okay, fine. But what if I ask you something super specific, like… about the mating habits of the Peruvian Tree Frog?
Oh, you're feeling *cheeky*, aren't you? Look, the Peruvian Tree Frog? I'd tell you to google it. But fine, fine. Let's get real specific for a second. Okay, I just looked it up (see? Googling expertise!), apparently, they… *gulp*… engage in "amplexus," which is where the male clings to the female. I'm actually a little embarassed to say it. And then they… lay eggs. And the cycle continues! But honestly? I'm far more interested in the mating rituals of humans. That's a *real* mystery. I've been meaning to ask my friend Brenda… but never gets into the right mood to do so. So you have a better understanding than me. Please don't ask me for an in-depth analysis! My brain is already starting to feel like melted cheese!
What's your *absolute* favorite thing in the world?
Oh, *that's* an easy one… (pauses, looks wistful) … Alright, so, it's not exactly a *thing*, but… have you ever experienced that moment, that *perfect* moment, when the sun hits your face just right, and you're drinking coffee that's exactly the right temperature, and your cat is curled up purring on your lap, and the world just… *clicks*? Yeah. That's... that's what I live for. And maybe fresh baked bread. And a good book. Okay, I’m getting lost in the fantasy of it all. Can't we just say… everything? I like everything. Except maybe Mondays. Mondays can go jump in a lake, preferably one full of piranhas.
Can I ask you some really silly questions?
Absolutely! In fact, please do. I thrive on silliness. It’s how I keep my inner gremlin from taking over completely. Ask me about the meaning of life (I’ll make something up), the best way to eat a donut (methodically), or if pineapple belongs on pizza (the answer is YES, and I will fight anyone who disagrees!). The more absurd the question, the better. Think of it this way - I'm basically a professional word-slinger. So throw me a word and expect a lot of wordy thoughts back.
What makes you, like, *you*? What's the essence, maaaaaan...
Oh, wow. Deep thoughts. Hmmm. You know, that’s a tough one. I guess… Maybe it’s a combination of things. A healthy dose of impatience. A deep affection for comfort food. An unholy obsession with collecting… stuff (don’t ask). A love for the absurd and finding humor in the everyday. And the constant, nagging feeling that there’s something *more* out there, something just beyond the edge of perception. And a chronic state of being… slightly confused? (Looks around nervously.) Yup, that's probably it. Maybe add in a touch of caffeine addiction, and a good helping of self-deprecation.
Are you… *afraid* of anything?
Oh, definitely. Heights. Spiders (shudders). Those tiny, plastic things that come on new clothes that are impossible to remove. But the biggest fear? Probably… boredom. Stagnation. The thought of living a life unlived. That keeps me up at night more than any creepy crawly or death-defying drop ever could. Also taxes. And the IRS. The IRS is a valid fear, right?
How do you handle… *criticism*?
Alright. Full transparency here. My first reaction? Instant defensiveness. It’s like my internal guard dogs start barking. But, after a few deep breaths, and maybe a chocolate bar. Then... If it has merit, I try to learn from it. If it's just… mean? I file it away under "Stuff That Makes Me Roll My Eyes." Honestly, I'm a work in progress. Some days I can take it like a champ, and some days… well, you might find me hiding under the covers with a tub of ice cream. We’ve all been there. The best defense is to acknowledge the criticism. That way you can move on. I am just getting ready. I swear.
What’s your favorite type of music?
Oh, wow. Again, depends on my mood. There are days I'm all about the angry girl with the guitar, raging about the man. then there are times when I am all about the soft, soothing sound that makes me want to curl up someplace. You'll also find me listening to anything from 80s hair bands (donTravel Stay Guides
